unhinged censer of the heart

“You must run after the Prayer (the “Prayer” is the Jesus Prayer).  To have the Prayer you must continually pray inside.  Run after the Prayer, do not be talking rather only be praying.”

blessed Geronitssa Makrina

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“When saying the Jesus Prayer keep your mind empty; with the Jesus Prayer your mind will be clean and full of light.  You will see your every fault.  With the Jesus Prayer you will always say it is my fault NOT someone else’s fault.”

blessed Gerontissa Makrina

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That censer of ours, it is probably twenty some years old. It has a well worn oft used sweet smelling incense patina on the inside and a “let my prayer arise as incense” luster on the outside. Recently – in the past year – it has become unhinged. Not pictured is the candle wax dripped scribbled names in the margin and some crayon markings from the kids Jordanville prayer book which also has pages falling out. So many times I have come so close to purchasing a shiny new brass or nickel censer and crisped white no writing on the pages brand new unbroken spine prayer book but then I always put them down.

Unlike the pages falling out of the prayer book, no page of prayer falls out of the book of God’s heart. The censer : a visual reminder that prayer is oft born of the unhinged censer of a broken and contrite heart… it is such a prayer that arises as incense, a prayer that God knows before even it is spoken and one that God will not despise.


fasting for a jealous God

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We have walked almost one week in this time of the great abstinence for Orthodox Christians.   Coming from a family that is not Orthodox and having many friends outside the faith,  I have often been asked, why this  mindless rote mechanical endeavor?”  Many outside the Faith question the validity of fasting for spiritual purposes – yet embrace it for health, beauty, weight loss and the like.

My answer is, why not come, taste and see what is the Fast. I assure you that the answer is no – it is not mindless endeavor but rather the most mindful one.

Fasting is hearts seeking the God seeking our hearts.

Our fast begins with a feast of forgiveness where we literally ask forgiveness of our brothers and sisters.

The Church sets aside the fast In the understanding that life is so interrupted frenzied and discombobulated and we are easily distracted and need a time set aside for this very purpose.

Why fast? Because what nourishes the soul is just as important as what nourishes the body.  I was reminded that fasting gives us greater awareness of our spiritual situation but only when balanced by prayer.   The purpose of that awareness is healing – reconciliation – wholeness – ultimately Confession.

And so, we are fortified and sustained  not on the little we omit but on the abundance we add.

We increase our devotion to Scripture : nourishing on the Word of God.

We add greater Almsgiving : charity nourishing the heart of the giver and feeding heart and body of the receiver.

We make every effort to immerse ourselves in the Lenten cycle of services – and expecting to be tired – we receive the healing Grace poured into our hearts expressed in the poetic hymnody of the Church and the Mysteries of the Sacraments.

Great Lent is laying aside our earthly cares.  It is placing God first – where He belongs and jealously longs to be.